I had the opportunity to participate in battles on both sides of the barricades. I can easily recall a dozen cases when I showed intolerance, aggression, and whining towards colleagues. Therefore, I will start my recommendations with how to cope with yourself.1. Idealization. At the stage of adaptation to a new place of work, there is a lot of anxiety and romantic love. Akin to human love, when we do not notice shortcomings, but exalt our beloved on a pedestal. And suddenly your colleagues begin to treat you aggressively. You think it’s connected, it’s with you, but there may be other reasons. For example: your salary is higher than that of your colleagues because you sold yourself better and the company assigns salaries chaotically. The last one to come got more. You have taken the place of the team's favorite and, willingly, everything you do comes under the microscope. The boss is inclined to create special conditions for newcomers - excessive and undeserved praise in the team. There is such a myth - that everyone should treat each other well. This is something that seems self-evident. But in this myth the two bottlenecks are “should” and “good”. Why on earth should you be treated well? Aren't you godfather, matchmaker, brother? And what does “good” mean? Don’t scold, don’t demand!? What we need to understand quite clearly is that when we join a new team, we join the competition. For resources - money, attention, toilet paper, oxygen. And if you don’t take money from a colleague, then you definitely absorb some of the oxygen. Which can already provoke aggressive behavior on an unconscious level. And the battle is over the air conditioner being turned on and off. Here is your enemy out of the blue. You are hot and he is cold. And we need to negotiate.2. Victim behavior. I am far from thinking that the person reading these lines is an angel. They are in heaven, and people are on earth. Therefore, I don’t need to tell the story that everyone is offending me, that I am poor and unhappy. This is one side of the coin. The other side is that I am filled with confidence that you did something so that your neighbor would come up and decide to kick you in the kneecap, and then do it constantly with increasing pleasure. You are not a sheep, and the aggressor is not a wolf. Each of you is a person trained to protect your personal boundaries and space. For example, someone comes in, takes your personal notebook and starts flipping through it. Your jaw dropped, your gaze expresses amazement, but you don’t have enough strength to express your feelings. Either my mother said in childhood that arguing is bad and everything should be common, or he is big and strong, and you are small and weak. There is a lot of violence in this seemingly innocent scene. The aggressor found the victim and launched the first test ball. Further, the situation can unwind in a spiral with greater amplitude. A whiner, contrary to popular belief, is not a victim at all. This is also the manipulator and aggressor. Under the guise of offended virtue and with righteous anger on his lips, he will sit opposite you and begin to talk about how the world is unfair to him, to you, what goats and fools there are around. And you are a special, understanding person. I have met people who, with the help of such manipulation, easily survived people from the team. My point is that it is important to allow within yourself the possibility that aggressive behavior, deception, etc. You, too, caused the trouble. Especially if this situation is not one-time, but permanent. Remember that the Aggressor is first and foremost a Coward. He is afraid that he will be offended, so he attacks first. Inside, he is a fragile and unhappy person. Just keep it in your mind, in the background. His main motive is safety. The poor thing is very, very scared for him.3. Psychopaths are among us. If you look at the International Classification of Diseases, 10th revision, you will see how many mentally unhealthy people are among us. Three five per hundred. Often people with psychopathy occupy leadership positions and are business owners. It was they who were able to squeeze out everything that was bad in the 90s. Psychopathy -.