Family neurosis is the formation underlying the destructive functioning of the family. It causes critical disruptions in relations between its members and interferes with the successful psychological development of children. Family neurosis is passed down from generation to generation and contributes to the emergence of neurotic symptoms and psychopathology. The presence of family neurosis can be difficult to notice from the outside, but its existence may be indicated by the presence of the following signs: Double messages This is a guide to performing certain actions, containing irreconcilable contradictions, which cannot be fulfilled in any way - “Shut your mouth and eat.” The impossibility of the requirement does not exempt from punishment. In such a situation, the child is deprived of the right to defend himself by pointing out the absurdity of the demands. Thus, he would have to accuse people whose love is vital to him of lying. Maintaining the “illusion of love” forms a vicious circle, in which the truth is not the opposite of a lie, they replace each other. Any child’s reaction to the contradictory demands of his parents turns against him: “I didn’t understand the first time - that means I’m stupid,” “He showed irritation - ungrateful,” “Couldn’t stand it and ran away - good for nothing.” In a destructive family, the child is chronically placed in a paradoxical situation of double messages. Parents are in a dominant position and hold him responsible for paradoxical behavior. Double messages can relate to different levels of communication: praise with a hostile facial expression. The child may be assured that he can tell his parents everything, but from the first words they begin to harshly criticize him. He cannot get out of a double situation, since the source of contradictory directives is a person significant to him. Having become accustomed to complying with contradictions, such a child will have difficulty understanding who he is and what he is like (self-concept). His connection with his true self will be disrupted, as well as with his true needs and desires. Family taboos Certain topics in communication between family members may be taboo. The most popular include: - Sexual prohibition. When verbalization is prohibited, sexuality can be openly manifested in actions. This includes washing the child at the age at which he can do it himself, putting him in the parent's bed, etc. - A ban on leaving the family routine. In such a family there is a set of strict norms and rules that must be followed. Discussing or doubting them is strictly prohibited. Everyday life is elevated to the rank of the highest value. No one is interested in the inner world of an individual family member. Such a family atmosphere is emotionally impoverished. A child who grows up in it will experience great difficulty in understanding his own feelings and desires. Family secrets In the history of a family, there may be some circumstance for discussion that is taboo. The subject of a secret often becomes the negative situations in which its members find themselves (serious illnesses, unpunished crimes, unexplained deaths, suicides, unexperienced losses, etc.). Deprived of the opportunity to psychologically process his history, the child is doomed to reproduce the destructive scenario of his ancestors. He is required to solve problems that his parents could not or did not want to cope with. Family secrets serve the purpose of protecting from shame and loss, but have the exact opposite effect. The child fills in the resulting gaps with his fantasies. And they can turn out to be worse than any truth. Anniversary syndrome. This is the date of some important event (birth, wedding, illness, death, etc.). And at the same time, this is the period of greatest vulnerability. It can manifest itself at the bodily level, in the form of sudden ailments. Emotional symbiosis. Emotional symbiosis is the interaction of a parent and a child, during which, through the processes of introjection and identification, structural changes occur in