I asked my client to draw a picture on the theme “Family”, and this is what happened. There is a lonely tree in the spring blue sky. There is a nest on a spreading branch and a swing hanging. And the tree also has a hollow. The branches of the tree are twisted and twisted, the foliage is painted in two shades of green - emerald and light green. Small flowers grow under the roots of the tree. This tree is kind of lonely and abandoned: the nest is empty, and there is no one on the swing, and it stands alone in this space. So think and wonder if her family lives so closed and closed , either she doesn’t have any family at all, or she has some strange idea about family in her head that doesn’t coincide with reality? It turned out that the third version of my assumptions is relevant for my client. Her life from childhood was very dramatic, if not to say tragic. As a child, this woman experienced a lot of things that are better to watch in a movie than to experience in real life. As a teenager, due to life circumstances, she was left in the care of her relatives, with unhealing and bleeding scars in her soul. It was then that the idea took root in her that she was alone in the whole world and her family was just her. After school, the client quickly got married, without thinking too much about who and what he, her chosen one, was like. Apparently, I really wanted a family like everyone else. She was tired of suffering and pain, she wanted simple human joys. The first years of her family’s life were very difficult financially, but she remembers them as joyful, because although it was a time of struggle for survival, they were filled with warmth and care. And then her husband had a financial rise, followed by the fall and collapse of the family. At this time, the woman was faced with everything that had previously filled her childhood: fear, pain, suffering. This caused enormous moral and mental trauma to my client. Then she first turned to psychologists for help, but there was no recovery. There was no understanding then of what was happening to her personally, what was happening to her family, and what she personally should do to restore her health and save her family. The woman plunged into deep depression. In every way she could, she clung to her husband for fear of being left alone and losing what she had strived for for so long. But the divorce still happened. It was heavy and painful. Again, pain and suffering came into my client’s life, awakening the ghosts of the past. However, after grieving, the woman decided to fight for herself. She graduated from university with two children in her arms and found a good job. And now she has her own small business, which not only feeds her, but also opens up some horizons for the future. And everything would be fine, but after the divorce, the idea that the family is just her came to life again in my client’s soul. What about the children, you ask? So I asked her about this: “You don’t live alone. Children live with you. Your family is you and your children.” Yes, outwardly it is, but inside the client there is a pain that there is no husband nearby, there is no worthy man nearby, with whose arrival her ideal idea of ​​​​a family was realized. I asked her what it is - what is this ideal idea of ​​​​a family? The answer was approximately the following: the family must be complete, the husband and father of the family must have all the best qualities and not only fully share all the aspirations, hopes and aspirations of the client, but also be a kind of beacon and ideal for her. And since you won’t find anything like this in real life, it means to be alone! The verdict has been passed on oneself and cannot be appealed! Of course, anything can happen in our lives, but believe me, maximalism and idealism have never led to happiness; rather, on the contrary, they completely disgust us from the happiness that we already have, and poison our lives, making us passive, anxious and lonely. I would like to believe that this drawing and this conversation will help my client change some of her conclusions regarding her own family and her.