“If you remove psychological protection, what remains?” - this question is often asked by clients. Let's figure out what the defense mechanism of the psyche is. This is often an unconscious mental process aimed at minimizing negative experiences. The defense mechanism underlies the processes of resistance, when either the client or the therapist prevents penetration into their unconscious and the return of repressed experiences. There are constructive defenses that contribute to a person’s adaptation when experiencing some kind of frustration (negative emotions, lack of what is desired), and there are destructive ones that increase maladjustment. Protection is, by and large, a “screen” from real life. Protection is also a secondary benefit for a person, which is why it is difficult to refuse it and it happens that the client decides to complete therapy, because. unable to give up the “screen” and meet his real self. A person is afraid to experience pain and constantly stuffs himself with anesthetics from reality, staying in some dissociative world of illusions. The primary benefit is the resolution of an intrapersonal conflict (for example, unexpected paralysis of the legs when a child does not want to go to school, where he is bullied by his peers). Secondary benefit is receiving the attention and care of loved ones for a while. Secondary benefit is based on some personal unconscious irrational belief of the individual. For example, “they only love me when I’m sick” or “they will respect me only when I’m aggressive”, “those around me tolerate me only when I meet their requirements”, “no one is interested in me if I’m imperfect”, “if I show that I’m happy, something unpleasant may happen,” “while I’m depressed, they won’t demand anything from me,” etc. Going into illness, reacting with aggression or omnipotent control, conformism, perfectionism, turning against oneself and much more is a barrier from life, non-acceptance of life as it is here and now, not receiving pleasure from living the process, but intense concentration on the future. If you remove these protections from a person, then he will have to go into life and try to learn to establish contacts, express himself, protect his boundaries, learn to resolve conflict situations, sacrifice some things for the sake of enjoying fishing, see what if I am happy or refuse to work in time pressure mode, the world does not collapse from this... Thus, a person receives a challenge, an opportunity to develop, to grow personally, he allows himself pleasure, joy, and therefore receives freedom from limiting beliefs that force him to drown in a viscous swamp of helplessness and fear. A person with a thick protective shell is not able to receive the joy of self-disclosure, is not able to ask for help, to receive attention directly and not manipulatively, deprives himself of many opportunities - to remove the blinders from his face and finally understand that the world is not such a dangerous place, flooded evil people. Irvin Yalom, using the example of one of his client cases, showed how secondary gain prevents a person from growing, and even leads to self-destruction. In his short story “The Love Cure,” Yalom described the case of a patient who could not give up her obsessive love for a man 35 years younger than her. The primary benefit in this situation was the desire for a connection with a young, attractive man, and the secondary benefit was the fear of aging. With her fixation on thoughts of unrequited love for her former young therapist, the woman distracted herself from thoughts about her own old age and related experiences. Thelma, that was the name of the heroine, for 8 years could not forget her love for her former psychotherapist and their short sexual relationship. Questions that tormented her: “I curse myself for chickening out and not asking Matthew the only two questions that are important to me. First, what really happened eight years ago? Why did you break up with me? Why did you remain silent during all this? time? And secondly, how do you really feel about me now? "At the end of this".