How not to be afraid of refusals and learn to say no. https://www.b17.ru/article/465659/ Part 1. When you first acknowledged your needs and feelings, took care of yourself: - filled with resources, you may notice that you have become more resilient. You have shaken your belief: “I can’t do this for myself on my own.” You felt that you could. You can do it. It is important. This gives you a feeling of support. Yes, having received a refusal or told someone else no, perhaps you can experience unpleasant feelings (excitement, fear, anxiety), but they no longer destroy you. You are aware of your needs and know how to gradually satisfy them. You control your emotions. Now the power and responsibility are in your hands. “I allow people to tell me no and accept refusal. Their absence has nothing to do with me personally, but may indicate the presence of their capabilities or limitations in a given period of time. It also shows me the level of trust between us, the ability to hear no - the ability to speak openly with each other, without manipulation." "I allow myself to say no if I feel that I do not have enough opportunities and resources. I know myself well: my desires, values, strengths and limitations. I have the right to refuse, and this characterizes me as a confident, stable and reliable person. I know that if I have the strength, I will help, if not, then I will not reassure the other.” To feel more stability, you can legalize your right to want/don’t want. And give a safe space to the other, in which he is also able to express his desires and non-desires. For example: It is easier to accept a refusal or refuse when you talk through this scenario. “Can you help me with...? If it works out, I will be happy. If not, everything is fine. I will solve this issue." "I cannot help you with this. Because now it’s important for me...! I hope this will not change our relationship with you.” By articulating your desires, capabilities and limitations, the right to want and not want (take from the inside to the outside), you allow yourself to say no, you allow yourself to accept refusal. The intensity of emotions decreases. Relief comes.