“Looking for a husband” - this motto can often be found on the pages of users of dating sites. Or hear from a single woman when asked about her personal life. And it is precisely from women looking for a husband that one can often hear complaints that “serious men have disappeared.” "They just want sex." “I didn’t find a suitable one.” “Of course, who needs a middle-aged woman, and even with a child.” A woman wants to find a husband. But he doesn’t find it. And he explains this by various external circumstances. But let's look at this call “I'm looking for a husband” more carefully. And let’s try to see the reason for the “non-finding” in the initial mistake in setting the goal. Husband/Wife are social roles, a certain status assumed voluntarily (normally) by a man and a woman in a relationship. Two people first build a relationship. Then, having made sure that the relationship is developing and satisfies both, they accept obligations to change their status and become husband and wife. When a woman wants to FIND A HUSBAND, this may indicate that she is psychologically ALREADY MARRIED. My husband just got lost. But she is already a wife (psychologically). A faithful wife who is looking for her lost husband. And she is not going to exchange money for any other men except her lost husband. And if you ask such a woman, what kind of husband are you looking for? Then she will definitely even give a description of him (kind, handy, rich, muscular, etc.). What is this all about? About the fact that such a woman’s psychological husband is her inner ideal. And the clearer the description of this ideal, the more difficult it is to find its embodiment in the outside world. The created internal ideal is always irrational and unviable, since it always has incompatible features, since it is inspired by the personal history of a woman, and she, unconsciously, wants to combine in this ideal the Wizard with whom she will heal her wounds and her life with happiness will provide forever. It is impossible to find a husband. You can only become a husband, like a wife. After the two built and created their relationship from scratch. After you try on a new role in a real relationship: “Do I want to start a family with this person? So that he would be my husband?” By making it her goal to find the one (who for some reason is already a husband, who matches the description - a psychological identikit), a woman falls into the trap of self-deception and eternal search. Not every person with whom we begin a relationship may be suitable for the role of a husband. The good relationship that you needed does not always mean that you will see in this man a good family man, the father of your children, your husband. And that's okay. But just without jumping over the stage of “I want to create a relationship that satisfies me,” you can learn to build relationships with men, with the male world in principle. This means having the opportunity, in this or the next relationship, to answer the internal question: “Do I want to become the wife of this particular person?” Answer yourself: “Yes.” And if the partner has a similar answer - become his wife. And just then: “I am the wife, and he is my husband” will be a natural step on the way to this role.