You know, recently, with girls in groups and in individual communication, I was faced with the following question: “How to meet my man?” Many believe that the more they communicate with men, the faster they will be able to meet their little man. Modern dating The girl is actively searching, posts her profile on a dating site, and takes other steps in an effort to find a man for a relationship. In large cities there is such a thing as “speed dating”, which is also popular. Someone turns to matchmakers. Someone starts going to places where there are a lot of men. It doesn't matter which method you choose. The important thing is that you enter into a search. I very often say that first you need to learn to live without a man, not to give priority to relationships in your life. This, of course, is the most important thing. When you start the journey of finding a man, without imagining your life without him, the relationship will be, let’s say, strange. You will invest a lot of energy in your partner, because he is very important and significant to you. And you do everything to be also the most significant aspect in his life, so that he also gives back to you in terms of energy. That is, all other areas of your life fade into the background - work, hobbies, relatives. Do you know how many women share with me their dreams - to meet “their” man and create a strong family? And they don't understand why space doesn't give them what they want. So one of the reasons is just a strong desire. The more we want something, the less we get... The very first thing to do is say goodbye to your desire. Why the search for a man fails Let's say you managed to say goodbye. You have done this work, learned to live without the presence of a man in your life. By the way, most of my programs are aimed at this. Suppose you have accepted the idea of ​​no man in your life. Or maybe there was a period when you had no one, and your life was relatively good, normal, not tragic. You didn't focus on your personal life. And so you decided to search, feeling ready for a relationship. One date, second, third, fourth, fifth... 3-5 months pass, as many as possible. There is no result. You have not met a man with whom you would like to enter into a serious and long-term relationship. All men are somehow different, they don’t attract attention, there is no desire to continue communication. What’s going on? You leave the site (if you registered) and say: “Fuck it all... where to go, some fools, I’d rather be alone.” You close yourself off and begin to live alone, removing all thoughts from your head about your partner and relationships. Some time passes, and having rested, tired of loneliness, you return to the search again, but the same thing happens. Usually people ask me: “What am I doing wrong? Am I misunderstanding the meaning of relationships, or am I not feeling men the way I should?” What's really going on? Why do you give up searching so quickly? Why can’t you meet? Because you still really want to meet the one and only. When you start searching and go on a date with a man, in any case, hope awakens: “Or maybe this is the one with whom I can build a long-term relationship ". You go on a date with this hope, but for some reason you didn’t hook him, or you liked him, but after a few meetings you realize that this is not the right person. Or the man has not shown interest in continuing communication, perhaps you are not alone with him... And it’s as if you are receiving a clap on your open soul. You swallowed this clap. “It’s okay: it didn’t work out with this one, it will work out with something else.” You go on a date again, maybe you’ve already met 1-2 times, the relationship lasts a month, but again something didn’t work out, you’ve already become attached to this person. He turned out to be the wrong one, and again you get a slap in your soul. Why is this happening? If you receive repeated disappointment and pain, you will soon give up meetings and dates. Why?Because you go on a date with an open mind, with the hope that maybe it will work out. And so one, second, third, fourth, fifth attempt - you, receiving painful blows to your feelings and hope, get tired. That's right, you are not a masochist to go around and get pain for your soul all the time. Therefore, you make a decision: “I don’t want anything else. I’d rather be alone.” What's wrong here? Girls, don't go on first dates with an open mind. Don't view a new man as the one you've been looking for all your life when you haven't gotten to know him enough yet. Don't put all your energy into them. Don't spend too much time getting ready for a meeting wondering what to wear. Go easily, as if to a friendly meeting. No need to go to a cosmetologist or hairdresser to get your hair done. Go for a walk. Remove your involvement and your desire to find your soul mate right now, at this meeting. Don't get hung up on relationships. I want you to understand one simple truth: not all women are given a man. Maybe your destiny is to spend your life without a man, or maybe right now you shouldn’t be in a relationship, the time has not come yet. Nobody knows for sure. Space knows better what tests and lessons to teach you, what experience you need to gain. Therefore, take it easier, simpler. What is important in striving to get what you want? Duration and consistency. If you have started the process of finding a man, then divide yourself into two parts. One part accepted the idea that you will not meet your man, because this could happen. And the other part continues to look for a man. The hardest thing is to accept the idea that there may not be a relationship. There is no such law that every woman is assigned a man (and vice versa), and she will open up to love and discover her feminine essence. It is likely that your fate is different. This is not tragic, you can live with this, still enjoy life and, in general, be a happy person. Now, when one part of you accepts the possibility of life without a man, and the other part continues the search, you will feel the difference when you are focused on the search , and when you accept the possibility of not getting what you want. How to work with your desires I said that you need to accept the likelihood of a man not being in your life in principle. But don’t stop, this doesn’t mean you need to stop searching altogether. You say to space: “I want to meet a man.” You are knocking on space. Space begins to hear you and says: “What? Wait, I’m busy right now.” At the same time, you make efforts every day to fulfill your desire, but by removing special priority and accepting that this may not happen, you continue to knock on space. But only you knock, admitting the thought that space may have other plans for you. If you demand, then space will simply say: “Leave me alone, I won’t give you anything, you’ve already got me.” Do you understand what I'm talking about? You need to knock very tactfully. To tactfully knock, you need to remove the significance of your desire. Every day you remind the space that “I would like.” How do you remind? By your actions. You do not leave the site, do not remove profiles. You continue to go on dates, meet new people, communicate, get to know men. This is how you say to space: “I would like to, but I don’t insist.” When you dated different men for 3-4 months, then got tired and gave up searching, what happens to the space? Having heard and seen your persistence, it begins to respond. At this moment you get disappointed and say: “Fuck it all for an asterisk, I don’t want anything.” Space replies: “Well, you don’t want to, as you want. It’s less work for me.” And again everything collapses. Therefore, in order not to be disappointed, there is no need to be enchanted. Don't go on a date like it's a holiday and don't wait for weeks for it. We met, talked, looked, appreciated. If you like a man, continue to communicate, get to know him more. But don’t put him on the pedestal of your desires from the first meeting. Don’t attach importance/