From the author: The article was published in the newspaper "Birzha Plus Career" 08/26/09 A working mother needs to be sure that in her absence the child is under supervision. What to do: rely on your grandmother, hire a governess or trust the kindergarten teachers? A psychologist of the highest category, the head of the psychological service of the school named after. M.V. Lomonosova Marina BATRAKOVA and psychoanalyst, member of the Professional Psychotherapeutic League Marina LOKOTKOVA. Pros and cons— When thinking about the future of her child, every mother should understand: communication with peers is one of the natural needs of the baby, says Marina Batrakova. Three to four years is age when one of the child’s developmental crises occurs. For the first time, he begins to understand himself in a world separate from his mother and strives to prove that he can do everything on his own. The mother’s love and excessive care at this moment can be harmful and lay the foundation for a helpless, dependent person. If a child has no contraindications for health reasons, he must be sent to kindergarten. “Communication with peers is the main source of information about the world for a child,” Marina Lokotkova emphasized. - Don’t be afraid that in kindergarten they can teach him bad things: you won’t be able to protect your baby from this in life. But you must be ready to teach your child to distinguish bad from good. One of the disadvantages of visiting a kindergarten is frequent illnesses and quarantines. Unfortunately, there is no other way to build immunity in children. If a child does not get sick from various diseases in kindergarten, he will definitely miss classes at school. “Sometimes children “go away” into illness on their own,” warned Marina Batrakova. — This is one of the most common types of psychological defense in children. It occurs when a child for some reason does not want to go to kindergarten. You definitely need to find out why. Talk to teachers, parents, watch the children. As soon as the problem is eliminated, your child will no longer get sick often and unexpectedly. Unfortunately, in Russia there are no schools for good mothers and fathers. If you cannot correctly understand the child’s experiences, do not hesitate to contact psychologists. How to choose a kindergarten? “Firstly, the kindergarten should be located near your home,” advises Marina Batrakova. — A short walk will expand a child’s understanding of the world. If the path to kindergarten involves getting up early and spending a long time on public transport, this will give nothing but negative emotions. Secondly, it is necessary to collect all possible information about the kindergarten. How many children are in the group (preferably no more than 15), what kind of teachers and nannies work, what educational programs are used when working with children. Don’t hesitate to come to the kindergarten in person, see in which rooms the children play and sleep, what they eat, whether there are conditions for playing sports. — It wouldn’t hurt to come with your child and see if he likes the teachers and the environment in the kindergarten. After all, children are highly developed emotionally,” said Marina Lokotkova. — Pay attention to whether children’s drawings are hanging on the walls, whether crafts are placed. The creative development of children is one of the primary tasks of kindergarten. Thirdly, try to find out as much as possible about your child’s health. An important criterion for readiness for kindergarten is the ability to speak or at least explain something clearly. Parents are well aware of all the “mooing” of their child, but you should not rely on such abilities from the teacher. Alternatives to kindergarten — When looking for an alternative to kindergarten, a mother must answer the question of why she is doing this, said Marina Batrakova. — If you want your child to be fed, take a walk or go to bed on time, look for a conscientious nanny. If you want your child to receive his first education at home, you will have to make an effort and find a competent governess.—It’s good if you can rely on this issue