(What to talk about with your loved ones) What is togetherness? How and when are we really together, and not just under the same roof? To understand this, and most importantly, to feel it, you need to be able to be with yourself first of all. This is often talked about and written about, but the rhythm of life, habitual roles, and problems deeply hidden in the subconscious often do not allow a person to connect with himself or with another. As a result, most broken relationships were simply never built; most broken couples were never together in the full sense of the word. Having built the external decoration of a shared life and distributed roles, people often do not create the main one - the field in which relationships exist and develop, fields of togetherness. What is needed for this? What makes our life together? What must we share with our loved ones in order to be together?1. Our feelings. Those very feelings that make us, and therefore our relationships, alive, and each of us significant. For this, it is worth taking a risk and sharing with your partner everything that is seething in your soul, all of our individuality and the depth of perception of each other and our lives.2. Our fears and doubts, vulnerability, shame. They need to be talked about, they need to be shared, because all of this is you too, you are alive and real. By encountering the imperfection, weakness and timidity of another, we get the chance for an incredible degree of intimacy that comes from a sense of equality - we are all imperfect because we are living people.3. Gratitude and value of your partner. Talk about it with him. Feedback received from a significant person makes us important and valuable to ourselves and the world. Be a mirror for your partner, reflecting him with love and admiration.4. Anger, differences of opinion, irritation. Don't hide it, talk about it. Only integral partners can be together, each of whom has the right to defend the boundaries of his personality. This makes it possible to clearly see reality, see the boundaries of what is acceptable, understand that you are different and respect these differences.5. Dreams and expectations. By talking about your desires and expectations, you give your partner the opportunity to either agree to satisfy them or refuse without the dire consequences that always arise in the case of manipulation. By sharing your dreams, you include your partner in them, creating a common space, outlining common goals that can be modified and even optional, but it is in this space that you both feel happiness.6. Your past. Yes. Necessarily. You weren't born yesterday, you both have it. We have all become who we are because of our past - our past loves, past mistakes, past victories. If today you love and accept me, then with all the pain, failures, even dirt, successes and ups, with all the people who were in my life before you and what they gave me. Otherwise, the partner ceases to be a real person and turns into some image far from reality. By revealing to our partner that part of our life that we lived without him, we make this part shared, thus expanding the scope of our contact.7. Plans for the future. In close relationships there is not and cannot be uncertainty, there is only choice. Joint plans give us support and stability here and now, regardless of what happens tomorrow. None of us can say with certainty how life will turn out in the future, but joint planning is a kind of agreement of intent, the definition of a certain vector, a general direction, a common choice.8. Common memories. When you remember the happy moments of your common history, you regain the same sensations, this is an opportunity to experience joint happiness again and again, namely joint, impossible without the participation of a partner. Remembering common difficulties, you are enriched by the joint experience of overcoming them, the feeling of reliable support for each other. These eight points are the basis of your closeness, the soil on which your relationship is built and developed. Everything else - your children, your work, your friends and hobbies, is no less important, but it all exists outside, you