Today I want to raise the very complex and multifaceted topic of “replacement children” and show, using the example of famous people, what consequences unlived grief can lead to and how it affects the rest of life. Before 1964 years, attempts to connect a person’s mental disorders with the context in which his conception occurred were not made, and psychologists Albert Kane and Barbara Kane were among the first to begin to study this extensive issue. They observed six children aged 7 to 12 years with various psychological problems. All these children had one thing in common: they were conceived by their parents in the process of grieving for a child who died under tragic circumstances. Their research and the research of many other psychologists led to disappointing results. When parents decide, without having lived through the loss, to conceive a new child, they and the child himself unwittingly become participants in a life drama, which is based on several reasons. A replacement child is born in an atmosphere of unfinished mourning. The purpose of the child is take the place of the deceased, which means he does not have the right to self-identification and the main function of the child from the moment of conception is to moderate the grief of the parent and replace the deceased sibling. Also, a child can become the object of parental expectations that were once invested in his predecessor, which affects the formation of the personality of such children. The replacement child experiences a feeling of guilt towards his deceased sibling. The anxiety of parents who are afraid of losing their second child gives rise to In addition to a strong sense of vulnerability, the survivor's syndrome manifests itself. The prohibition on grief forms the unconscious stuckness of the family in an atmosphere of overwhelming grief. Often parents prohibit themselves from talking about the loss and mourning the loss after a short time. Often society can be a concomitant reinforcing element of such behavior, the tendency to devalue the feelings of people who have suffered a severe loss, I think the strongest and most painful of all that can happen, persists. Parents can continue to talk about the deceased child, endow him with special qualities, one might say idealizing him, but not recognizing the fact of his death. It is important to draw your attention to the fact that only one factor leads to such an outcome of events - the mother or father is not ready to complete the work of grief. How to determine that the work of grief is not completed? If one of the parents thinks that he wants to give birth to a deceased child again, that is, he does not expect the appearance of a new, individual and unique personality, but lives with unrealistic hopes and attributes mythical properties to events. As a rule, replacement children are very much awaited at the beginning they are well received, but then difficulties begin, the cause of which is the initial ambiguity and the atmosphere of unlived grief. And in this oppressive atmosphere, the child begins his life. Vincent Van Gogh was born exactly a year after the birth and death of his older brother Vincent. The parents named the second one after their first child. They were very worried about the loss of a baby who died on the day of his birth and, due to the inability to cope with grief, they conceived Vincent 2. Father Theodore was a “priest by inheritance”, a rather depressed person, mother Anna Cornelia Carbentu had an explosive character. Every Sunday Vincent and his family came to sermon to his father and every time he passed his brother’s grave, on which his name and date of birth were written. And death. He considered himself “at best the deputy of his dead brother, at worst his murderer” and felt his connection with him so strongly that he doubted his own existence, especially that he was an artist. Vincent wrote letters to his brother Theo (650) and in many of them he spoke of the torment of being a double or “living corpse” of the first Vincent. “It’s stupid to pretend to be dead before you have the right to become one by dying for real.” Vincent was tormented by the fear of being a survivor, he was afraid to declare himself and be visible. Feelings of guilt andincomprehensible remorse went hand in hand with him throughout his life. He wrote: “People are often unable to act, as if locked in some terrible cage. It’s impossible to say for sure what keeps them locked up, but sometimes I feel as if there are some bolts, bars, walls around me.” Unconsciously, Vincent felt that his success was a crime against the memory of the deceased, an attempt to take his place in the hearts of his parents. Van Gogh was an incredibly talented person with a powerful inner core, but the contradictory illusions and death floating and in the air from birth were unbearable for him. Perhaps these circumstances contributed to his early death. Salvador Dali Salvador Dali was born exactly 9 months and 10 days after the death of his brother Salvador, who died due to illness. For Dali, his deceased brother actually became a double for him, created by his schizophrenic imagination. Dali believed that his eccentric actions had one purpose: “My antics helped me kill the memory of my brother. Thanks to this constant game, I brought to life the myth of Castor and Pollux: one brother died, and the second is immortal." Salvador writes that the death of his brother shook his mother to the very depths of her soul, the earlier development, genius, charm and beauty of this brother was a joy for her. And after the birth of Salvador, grief continued to overwhelm the parents and their grief never let go of Salvador; he deeply experienced the imposed presence of his brother (in the bedroom above the parents’ bed there was a portrait of a deceased child) as a shock - similar to a complete lack of feelings and at the same time as a state of hopelessness . The most important thing for Dali was to prove to himself that he was not a dead brother, that he was alive. And until the end of his life, Salvador constantly tried to separate himself from the irrational. After the death of his mother, Salvador broke off relations with his father (also Salvador) and symbolically freed himself from the first name of his deceased brother. It is noteworthy that in the same year, Salvador met Gala. Salvador 1 had a middle name - Galo, and Salvador 2's beloved woman would be Gala (the female version of the name Galo). Thus, he freed himself even more by dropping his middle name and transferring it to the feminine gender. Vincent and Theo were inseparable all their lives, Theo always extended a helping hand to Vincent and was his support, support, he was a shoulder for him that he could always rely on . Gala was the same person for Dali; she was the discoverer and inspirer of Dali’s soul. “Gala protected my sleep, taking care of my already imminent resurrection. Like a doll, I wrapped myself in the silken shroud of my imagination. I definitely had to break it so that the paranoid butterfly of my mind could flutter out of this invisible but terribly strong cocoon. Without Gala’s help, my prisons, these necessary conditions for any metamorphosis, could become my coffin.” Gala told him, “Get up and go. You haven’t achieved much yet, it’s too early for you to die.” Gala was a motivator for Dali, thanks to her he did not plunge into “ridiculous success and prosperity,” he was concentrated “to fight for things that are truly significant,” transforming all life experience and strength into creativity It was the same with Theo, until his son was born, whom he also named Vincent. His son came to the fore for him, he was absorbed in fatherhood, and within a month after the birth of his son Theo, Vincent Van Gogh died. We do not know the true reason why the great artist passed away, but we can say that Theo’s love greatly supported Vincent in the most difficult moments of his life. I give this analogy in order to show how great the role of love is in the life of every person and whatever the current life circumstances, life circumstances of childhood or birth, love is often our companion, the compass of our heart, it gives strength, self-confidence and instills hope in our souls. 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