The story is fictitious, all coincidences are accidental. “I get tired of the noise, of children’s voices, it’s even hard for me to listen to the word “mom” several times a day, because when I hear this word, I understand that they again want to “eat” something from me, something “I’m walking through the apartment and slowly dying, from the garbage, from the traces of children’s activities, from scattered things and toys. I don’t even have the strength to scream and resist. I’m just slowly dying inside,” Lilya said during the consultation. Tears appeared in her eyes and flowed down her nose and cheeks. Lily has two children, the same age, a boy of 4 years old and a girl, she is almost 3 years old. When Sasha was born, Lilya and her husband were very happy about their long-awaited son. Lilya is an anxious person and was preparing for the worst. And she was afraid to die in childbirth, and to go crazy from pain and fatigue, and was very afraid to give birth to a sick child. Sasha's first months were difficult: colic, painful feeding, chronic lack of sleep. But most importantly, he was a healthy, handsome guy, and Lilya did not die or go crazy. Both the successful birth and the surviving baby gave her self-confidence: “I can do it! I can do it!” And she deliberately “went for the second one.” A doctor friend supported this idea: “Yes, you can immediately “shoot off” and then recover.” And Lilya herself, the only child in the family, was convinced that her son does not so much need all the most branded and expensive things, but rather needs a brother or sister, a playmate, a close person, besides mom and dad. But Lilya did not expect that everything would work out so quickly. And when Sasha was only 6 months old, she found out that she was pregnant again. Nausea and toxicosis again. Only now it was no longer possible to lie down, not to rest, Sasha demanded almost continuous attention. Lila was lucky with her husband, he helped her. But even this help was not enough. The parents of both Lily and Ilya (husband) remained in another country. When Stella was born, a nanny was invited for Sasha. But Lila didn’t like the fact that she gave a 1.5 year old child a phone or often sat on the phone herself while he quietly played with toys. Another nanny spanked her baby when he desperately demanded something from her. And Lilya decided to cope on her own... She turned to a psychologist when her condition began to scare her. The food began to seem tasteless, the children's voices began to irritate her, in the morning she was already tired and did not want to get out of bed. According to the Beck test, we identified psychogenic depression of moderate severity. This means that the cause of depression is not an imbalance of neurotransmitters, but in lifestyle and mental exhaustion. But this does not mean that the state of the body has nothing to do with it. I still recommended getting examined by a general practitioner or family doctor, checking thyroid hormones, ferritin, protein, and magnesium levels in the blood. When she came back with “normal” results, I became even more convinced that the primary and main cause of her condition was chronic fatigue. The adaptation mechanisms of her body and psyche are exhausted. Pregnancy and childbirth are a lot of stress, albeit positive ones. Chronic lack of sleep is also stress, depleting the reserves of the body and psyche. Adapting to a new role as a mother also requires a lot of effort. What can I say, being daily next to a helpless baby, to whom, theoretically, anything can happen and who simply cannot survive without an adult, is a big burden. You can get tired of this alone. Not to mention the fact that home, everyday life, cooking, and your own health require attention. Being a mother of three children, I know this not only from books... What should I do, how can I help Lila? I ask my “magic” question: “What do you want?” I like to ask this question because it supports the emotional-volitional sphere in a person, the “It” in the theory of psychoanalysis, the “Id” from the Gestalt approach. In this childish, living, sometimes called “animal” part of our being, our vital energy is located. And it is important to “appropriate” it for ourselves and direct it towards what we believe in, what we consider good and correct. “I just want peace and quiet, so that no one will bother me.” - Tell us about +79110250364