From the author: ... Does everyone always need psychotherapy? Have you ever been a client of a psychologist without a conscious request? Have you ever been a psychotherapist of a client who himself does not understand why he needs psychotherapy? When I observe such paradoxical cases, I think about the motives of such clients. Of course, it is possible that the client simply needs support and has no one to talk to, but he doesn’t really want to talk, the questions are answered in monosyllabic terms, and there seem to be no emotions at all. You begin to wonder if there might be such powerful resistance? So why resist, if he even works, then in principle he does not express a desire... No, the client, of course, identifies the problem, but its further disclosure is simply impossible. You begin to wonder if this is not a mythical problem, because its coverage does not touch absolutely any strings of the client’s soul. And here is the crowning question: “What brought you to me?” and finally, an answer that clarifies everything at least a little: “My wife (husband, mother, father, sister, girlfriend or the Buddha himself in a dream) told me to go to a psychologist.” “Do you want this yourself?” “I don’t know.” , but they know better what I need." Pause, silence - and behold! the request has been identified. Voluntary psychological violence against oneself, where psychotherapy acts as a tool. I don’t want anything myself, but others insist, and so I have to! He must invent a problem, must try to work with it, must step over his true desires at the insistence of others. And most importantly, I perceive this as a benefit. The client does not see the real problem. And the real problem is the dissolution of oneself, the loss of oneself as an individual, voluntary psychological violence and the suppression of one’s true desires to please someone. When you voice this problem to the client as a basic one, then a dramatic transformation occurs. You immediately see true emotions (surprise, sometimes indignation and anger, sometimes defensive laughter, etc.), you notice true resistance, talkativeness. It’s paradoxical, but what the client sometimes comes to work with is pointless to work through, and what can be a real request is simply taboo for the client. When therapy acts as an instrument of voluntary psychological violence, this is a dead end. Therapy must be conscious, desired and adequate to the real problem, not the mythical one!