Quite a lot of attention has been drawn to the topic of love relationships with narcissists. But there are many who were friends with such men and women to whom such friendship caused a lot of damage. Narcissists cleverly ingratiate themselves into trust, charm, and convince of their sincerity. But it is important to remember the main thing. A friend or girlfriend for a narcissist/narcissist is the same source of resources. In this article I will analyze the main components of a typical friendship with a narcissist. What does a friend or girlfriend experience? 1) A bright and promising demo version They present themselves well at the stage of rapprochement. They convey to you that they are ideal friends, that you will have a super-strong relationship. 2) Tend to use, parasitize As a rule, they come to this scheme quite quickly. They just demand, they take, everything is not enough for them. 3) They demand a lot for themselves, but actually give little in return. It is very difficult to wait for real help and support from them. More often than not, all this is only in words. 4) They constantly violate boundaries. They try to penetrate all areas of your life, try to enter into a merger, and use hypercontrol. All this is unilateral - they protect their boundaries. 5) They manipulate based on feelings of guilt and debt. You begin to feel that you are indebted to them for life and are always to blame for them. 6) They often practice emotional swings. Mood swings, taking out negativity on you. They don’t apologize for this behavior and don’t explain anything. 7) Selfishness and greed appear. They often talk about it openly and are even proud of it, as well as their manipulativeness. 8) They can take a long time to remember every little thing done to you. For any nonsense, they demand many times more from you. They often deliberately impose unnecessary help or a gift on you in order to make you a debtor.9) They practice double standards. They can be ignored, disappeared, demanded, etc., but you are not allowed to do anything.10) They lie cleverly, even considering such a person as your friend or girlfriend for many years, you may not know at all who is next to you. They deceive even close friends if it is more profitable for them in a given situation. 11) They frame and use what you tell them against you in their own interests. In a fit of revelation, you can tell them something. They themselves may specifically unearth some of your secrets. Then they can blackmail you or set you up. 12) Frequent manifestations of passive aggression Ignoring, gossip, envy, resentment, depreciation, always in a bad mood and much more. They appear in a beautiful mask only at the beginning. Then they don’t try very hard. 13) Envy Very envious. They can’t stand it if everything is fine with you and you are happy. 14) Vindictiveness Quite vindictive. They can spend years looking for a reason to take revenge even for a minor episode. Consequences of friendship with narcissists - Devastation, burnout, lack of resources - You can play according to their scenario for a long time, not realizing that you don’t need it - Because of their processing, your environment may turn away from you - Background a feeling of guilt and the feeling that you constantly owe something to this person - The inflated importance of this person in your life Friendship with narcissists is a one-goal game. Moreover, this is a destructive relationship that drains all resources from you. You will only lose from such friendship. But for a long time you will not realize what is happening to you. Identify such people in your close circle in a timely manner, be careful with them and build boundaries. Vera Bokareva, psychologist, psychotherapist, sexologist, doctor of medical sciences. Sign up for a consultation: WhatsApp / Viber / Telegram: +7-963-231-37-12 / verabo.ru