From the author: Dependency/freedom, in fact, our whole life passes in movement from one pole to the other. We cannot be out of connections, while turning to another, there is a risk of being absorbed... By leaving connections, breaking them, we risk losing contact with the world and can doubt ourselves, the value of ourselves... Constant movement towards closeness, to freedom... While we are free in this movement, life flows, develops... And then we have ourselves and there is another person (people) close to us. There is WE. The first is dependent. The second is free. The first is associated with the fear of life and seeking out traumas in life and claims to the world that it is so callous, indifferent, alien, hostile, traumatic... At best, with the awareness of the possibilities of a better existence, the desire to heal, live, work through these traumas, leads to psychotherapy. The second is a view of the world as a miracle and gratitude to it for everything. Freedom to feel, think, act, create, create, live deeply, fully and whole. Claims are what tie us to their addressee. They hold us, not giving us freedom of movement, and tie us down in such a way that we have no parents, and our parents don’t have us, the children. And it is gratitude that gives us freedom, both to those with whom we are connected, and to ourselves. And then our life takes on new facets and colors of life. As long as we are attached to claims, we are really doomed to dependence, weakness... Dead end path. We can protest in attempts to gain freedom, only this freedom costs little - “freedom from” and not “freedom for” - cheap freedom. You can go in search of a “good” mom, dad... in contrast to your relatives, those who have already given the greatest that a person can get - his life, this very opportunity to walk... You can devalue the contribution of parents ad infinitum, but, alas, this does not move us towards freedom or mature love. Any practices that support people in their accusations and claims against their parents deprive people of the opportunity to move forward. They actually exploit people's addiction, replacing dependence on something (someone) with dependence on participation in these practices. This is destructive sectarianism, based on attachment to the ideas of one - the leader of the movement, the guru, and belonging to this group. He is the main dad/mom, dearer than all the relatives...Adulthood, maturity begins here - “Mom and Dad, Thank you for giving me My Life. It's enough. I will do the rest myself.” Deep gratitude. And its expression with your whole being, in actions, in words... This is where determination and responsibility for your life appears. And the freedom to build it, to create, to live fully and deeply, “freedom for.” This is in contrast to the endless claims to parents that they did not give, that they gave the wrong thing... Can a person forgive others for the fact that they are imperfect? yourself? After all, this is the basis for moving on, in contrast to being stuck in a circle of self-flagellation and the flagellation of others. With such an attitude, psychotherapy is powerless to help as long as the same patterns are played out in it. Psychotherapy of any modality, even psychoanalysis (according to Freud or modern), even hypnosis, even CCP, even CBT, even long-term, working through the experience of transference, even short-term, working with their own techniques. But psychotherapy can help in which the client is aware of this dependence in his thinking. He will look from a different angle, and develop this new vision of his... He will begin to act differently... Then gradually the changes will affect all areas of a person’s life, they will open up from the inside and manifest themselves outside, and will affect current interactions, first with the psychotherapist, then with other people, and with your parents.., and most importantly, with yourself. It’s difficult to accept this idea. It is just as difficult to give up attachment, dependence, and the habit of making claims that replace the period of enchantment. This is true. Although this causes suffering, it is understandable and familiar. And then the cycle of charm/depreciation is repeated time after time, supported by the fear of the new and the craving for the familiar... And that’s all.