Take someone else's shoes Recently I was asked to comment on a situation that happened near the fitting room in the clothing department. The customer, expecting to enter the fitting room, found a girl about three years old there playing in front of the mirror. The parents were somewhere off to the side. The buyer called the seller to resolve this situation. The seller brought the parents, after which they took turns persuading the girl to leave the fitting room for several minutes. But the girl didn’t want to go out. The angry customer left without purchasing. Having heard this story, I asked which of the five participants in the conflict should be commented on from the point of view of a psychologist, if a sixth person observed it? At the same time, I was expected to give an evaluative answer to the topic: “What bad parents: they are raising a selfish daughter, and cannot cope with her... Therefore, the first thing I asked was, whose problem was this? Obviously neither the girl nor her parents. After all, what happens if you put yourself in the buyer’s shoes? I liked the item, I want to try it on, and I go to the only open fitting room, but suddenly they find a child there who is occupying the space for the wrong purpose. When I encounter an obstacle, I begin to feel angry, frustrated, and... helplessness, because I don’t know what to do with all this. And also fear, which prevents me from making contact with this girl, joining her game and not asking permission to occupy the fitting room. I act in the usual and proven way: I transfer responsibility for what is happening, calling the seller. Then I blame the seller for not fulfilling her official duties, and the parents for not raising their daughter well. Then I leave, slamming the door, cursing everyone around, remaining innocently offended by these bad people. In our society, it is customary to treat a child not as an equal and having the same rights, but from a position from above: “I know better what you can do and what you cannot do.” There is no respect for the girl, for her needs, for her opinion. She has the same right to be in the fitting room as other customers. And what’s stopping you from asking her how long she needs to vacate the room? What if you imagine yourself in the place of this girl? I'm playing, suddenly some evil aunt bursts into my room, complains about me to the seller, says something bad about my parents, and then all these disgruntled adults force me to stop playing and get out of here? How should I feel and think about adults at this moment? Together with Yulia Vasyukova