Basic stress tolerance skills (according to M. Linnehan)What are stress tolerance skills? At different points in our lives, we all face suffering and pain. Pain can be physical - for example, due to injury, or emotional, caused difficult feelings such as sadness or anger. Both options are most often inevitable and unpredictable. And they sometimes come at the same time - both mental and physical pain. In many cases, we cannot predict when we will pinch a finger, or will be upset about something. In all such cases, coping skills come in handy. Different people are different. respond to physical and emotional pain. Some people have a higher threshold of sensitivity, others have a lower one, and they react to pain faster and more acutely. This is caused by the characteristics of the nervous system, or the presence of skills in experiencing pain. Often a suffering person feels his suffering as endless, it seems to him that his emotions “ suppress.” Often, ways of dealing with such all-consuming, overwhelming emotions are unsuccessful, if not unhealthy. The trouble is that severe emotional pain makes rational, logical thinking difficult. This does not mean that a person is becoming stupid. Pain simply distracts attention to itself. There is no time for logic. So a person copes with emotions in such a way that it only gets worse. Here are several strategies for overcoming difficulties that are encountered in different people: (You can note for yourself the strategies that you use to better understand what is wrong with you happens) - You spend a significant amount of time thinking about past mistakes and suffering. - You immerse yourself for a long time in anxious thoughts about the possibility of repeating these troubles. - You avoid communicating with people in order to avoid these problems predicted by your imagination. - You use “pain relief” emotions", up to complete numbing of feelings, with the help of alcohol and drugs - You blame other people for your suffering, being angry with them, or controlling them. - You act in a dangerous, careless way: self-harm in various ways. - You often take part in unprotected sex with acquaintances or strangers. - You avoid making decisions about getting out of your problems, for example, from a dysfunctional, abusive relationship. - You treat food irrationally, as if punishing or controlling yourself: you eat irregularly, excessively or insufficiently , or eat poor quality food. - You try to commit suicide, or engage in risky activities - careless driving, etc. - You rarely attend social events, do not exercise, allowing yourself to think that you do not deserve such pleasures. - You resign yourself to with their pain, considering it normal to live unhappily and without satisfaction. These paths lead to an increase in emotional problems. In the next post on this topic, we will look at the Self-Destructive Strategies exercise to evaluate the possible energy costs of using these strategies.