It so happens that, having not received acceptance from the person we have chosen, for some reason we paradoxically remain waiting for this tidbit of attention that we have not previously received. In this attention we see recognition from society, and at this moment it does not matter at all that other people accept us (we fall into everyone’s favorite cognitive distortion - devaluation of the positive), what is important is that that same person does not accept us. I want to wait. You want to get it! You need the strength to move on - to accept the fact that the person has no longer given you what you would like. Instead of concentrating on a plan of further action towards getting what you want somewhere else, the person sits down and waits for a miracle “that’s all.” will change on its own.” Instead of accepting oneself on one’s own, a person waits for approval from the outside - the process is logical, “it’s better for others to know what I am like.” Why is this model of behavior attractive to us? Why do we resort to it? Of course, because we still get something from it - secondary Benefits, for example: 1. We free ourselves from responsibility for our actions (we give it to a parent, boss, love object, etc. - any person who has power over you); 2. We hide from working on ourselves (“the other person accepts, then everything is fine with me,” not paying attention to the fact that the other person may also be traumatized. Instead of accepting our power, loving ourselves, letting go of trauma and our innermost unrealistic —> due to the fact that at certain moments such work is accompanied by animal portions of disappointment and pain - again, this is the way);3. We are in a state of “victim” -> often people subconsciously confuse this concept with heroism (“I suffer / I don’t think about myself, only about others, but these others feel good,” without tracking whether others are really enjoying); 4. So familiar and already understandable... etc. (enter yours, there are actually many more points). It is important to accept that you will not receive the love that you would like to receive from a parent, from a significant adult, etc. Time has passed. You no longer received it then. Even then, your parents didn’t like you and didn’t accept you. This has become a Fact. A dog that was not given to you by a significant adult in the past will no longer be given to you. This must be accepted, preserved and moved on, without being left alone with your endless need, without hopelessness - the outcome was. It is important to look for a resource elsewhere, primarily in yourself, but if you do not have such an opportunity, it is never too late to seek help from a loved one, friend, specialist, etc. The need, the need remains, it is important to distribute it and implement it in another way, adapting to new realities, fortunately this still remains possible.