Probably each of us has heard more than once that we need to learn to love ourselves, we need to understand ourselves and accept ourselves. Many book authors and training presenters talk about this. This is often talked about even in the media. However, not everyone understands the true meaning of these words. What does it mean to “love yourself,” and most importantly, how to do it? From childhood, many of us were instilled in our parents, teachers, and even strangers with the idea that we need to think not only about yourself, but also about others. Actions for oneself were frowned upon and considered selfish; actions for others were encouraged and celebrated. Those who had younger brothers and sisters probably remember very well such phrases as: “Have you thought about your sister?”, “What example are you setting for your younger brother?” “How are you acting? What will people say?!” and much more. Indeed, there are so many of these phrases that it is impossible to list them, but the result of their influence is the same - people are accustomed to hiding behind the masks of “kind and sympathetic”, “loving and reliable”, “patient and reasonable”, although in reality they are not always like that I want to be. Moreover, they are very tired of these roles and, returning home, the thought “finally this terrible day is over” may often flash through their minds. The first question that one wants to ask is: “Why was the day terrible?” It seems like you have a job that suits you, a family that you love, and things that you enjoy... but still, something is wrong. It’s still a “terrible” day. But if you think about it, it’s not the day itself that’s terrible, but how we relate to everything that happens during that day. Those who we try to appear to be during the day, whose masks we actually put on and bring so much fatigue and tension. This is an echo of the fact that we are used to sacrificing ourselves for someone and now this “someone” lives our life: he walks instead us to work, raising our children, communicating with our friends. Someone, but not us. Some of us can meet ourselves only when we are completely alone, when all our affairs have been redone, when the children are sleeping and no one sees who we really are. It is at this moment that we can allow ourselves to be a little ourselves. Observe, for example, the position in which you sit. Would you sit like that, say, if someone you knew was sitting next to you? But even this moment we spend not on knowing ourselves, but on thinking about what mask we will wear tomorrow. What mask do you need to change your true self to in order to become an exemplary (or simply worthy) employee, a loyal friend or a wonderful parent? This is how someone else lives our lives day after day. Someone, but not us. A simple exercise: “Run the fingers of one hand along the back of the other hand, so carefully and tenderly, as if you were touching the most precious thing in the whole world. (After all, this is so - YOU are the most precious thing you have. Without you, what will you have left?) Touch, and with warmth and tenderness in your voice say: “This is MY hand. This is part of ME. I love her". Say it and try to track the feelings and sensations that you have. How enjoyable did you find it? How did you feel? What did you want to do with this feeling?” This exercise shows your attitude both to a part of yourself and to you as a whole. Most people to whom I suggested doing this, at first glance, a simple exercise, tried to finish it as quickly as possible, they said, that they were not comfortable and began to get nervous. Loving yourself means, first of all, to be yourself always and in everything. This does not mean that you need to behave frivolously or tactlessly. No way! But it means allowing yourself to feel, say and do what you experience at one time or another, regardless of who is standing with you - old or young, rich or poor, healthy or sick... It doesn’t matter who is in front of you. you. What matters is that you are you. Self-love is not selfishness, as some people believe, and not the desire to do the best for yourself. Another word for this is greed. Self-love, in the true meaning of the word, is honesty with oneself, it is.