A burden from childhood that interferes with life If we could ask Marusya’s parents about how they treated her as a child, we would most likely hear something like: - Yes We wanted her so much, we couldn’t get enough of her. She was the first, beloved. Marusya's dad was the boss. He was very serious and businesslike. Probably all his participation in family affairs came down to financial support only. Of course, he sometimes went with Marusya for walks or vacations, but he did not know how to communicate with children at all. At least with her. The most he was capable of was to make sure that she looked good (naturally for others: clean, neat, her hair was collected as it should, etc.) and was fed (at the strictly allotted time for eating, she ate everything she was supposed to) . In Maruse's eyes, he was an unattainable ideal. He worked a lot at “serious, responsible work” and had little contact with Marusya. To be honest, he didn't want a girl at all. Son - this is a real continuation and clear clarity (football, cars, helicopters, construction sets, etc.). But what to do with Marunya?! Perhaps this disappointment was conveyed by Marusya somehow non-verbally, but he was also stingy with words. Everything she did well and could boast about was taken for granted by him. She could not boast of the boy's talents. But running into his displeasure happened often. No, he never shouted or even swore at her. But his whole appearance showed her that she had upset him, that she had not lived up to it, and what could be taken from her. Although Marusya tried very hard. She studied very well and was generally a good girl. Marusya’s mother also worked, but she devoted much more time to home and her daughter. True, my mother’s attention was mainly not about her love or joy in life, but about her worries. And my mother was worried about absolutely everything. A disaster was any runny nose, a wrinkle on a school uniform, a pimple on a leg, unhealthy food, scoliosis, bad feedback from school, any changes, planning for the future... Marusya grew up in constant stories about how to behave so that something doesn’t happen. something terrible. And my mother could easily describe this terrible thing in colors and in great detail; she had enough education for this. Obviously, the parents tried to make Marusya’s fate smooth and good, but it didn’t turn out that way. From communicating with her mother, Marusya got the following picture: the world is dangerous, there are diseases, enemies, hunger, cold, bandits, etc. and so on. And she has to deal with this somehow, she has to do it, because she is already an adult. But how? After all, she received the second most powerful message from her dad, which said that Marusya is worthless and always falls short, no matter how hard she tries. So how can Marusya survive with such baggage? We worked with Marunya for a long time, sorting out her difficulties and their causes, accepting the difficult, creating a loving inner parent, making relationships with her real parents more vibrant and you know...at some point the world stopped being the same as before, and finally began to sparkle with colors! My collections of articles Katerina Istratova is a clinical psychologist, crisis consultant, author of books. I will help you create happy relationships. With myself. With a partner. With kids. With peace. 🧡Record WhatsApp, Telegram, Viber +7(929) 9020234 +7(916) 4015150