Many people at a certain stage of life and at a certain stage of their relationship with a loved one are faced with a choice. And this choice is to give or not to give a second chance. A person can commit betrayal or another serious offense. But feelings for him are still strong. But you don't see yourself next to anyone else. This is how they fight: on one flank there is faith, hope and love, and on the other – pain, mistrust and doubt. So should you give a second chance to a loved one? To figure this out, you should honestly answer several questions for yourself.1) It’s true- really a second chance? Or the 3rd, 5th, 25th or “anniversary” 1000th? If not the second, then the risk of the situation repeating increases. A person may realize that this is possible with you. That you will forgive anyway, will not go anywhere. Or a certain behavior may be part of his personality, his life style. Decide for yourself here. If you are ready to put up with this, then you shouldn’t count these chances. Just take the situation for granted. But if in reality this was the only such offense in life, and the person repents, then you can give it a chance. 2) Does your partner really need this forgiveness? It happens that your partner doesn’t particularly need your forgiveness . He does not wait for your green light and the slightly open door. He has been living his own life for a long time. And you suffer, doubt, continue to look for excuses for him. But it happens that he really repents. A sincere request for forgiveness and words of repentance are almost impossible to fake. This is your loved one, and you know him very well.3) Does the partner himself want to fix something? And what does he do for this? Yes, you can admit guilt and ask for forgiveness. But this does not equal resolving the situation and getting out of the crisis. Real actions and steps are needed. Are there any changes in the partner’s behavior? What has he already done? Is there any positive dynamics? 4) Is this offense the only serious drawback in your relationship? Unfortunately, it happens that some serious offense becomes the last bucket poured into the already full tar barrel of a relationship. Or the last hammered nail. Maybe this is a clear sign that there is simply nothing to save? But, if there is really more good. If your partner himself forgave you in some situations, if there are many realistic and not far-fetched advantages in the relationship, then, perhaps, the person deserves a chance.5) Can you really live together, keeping this in mind? Not everyone and not everyone can forgive and forget. You can put on a smile, squeeze out acceptable words. But you know yourself better than anyone. If you never accept this, if this event stands between you every day like an invisible wall, then you shouldn’t deceive yourself. At a minimum, you should take a break, cool down, and think about everything again. In some cases, you can give a second chance. The main thing is not to make yourself even more painful with this attempt.Vera Bokareva, psychologist, doctor of medical sciences. If you need my advice, please contactContacts: WhatsApp / Viber / Telegram: +7-963-231-37-12 verabo.ru