Yesterday in the article I told and showed with examples what double messages are: Double messages or what a woman wants. Let me remind you, briefly, that double messages are when what you are talking about is asking for , is at odds with what you said before, or what you really think, or what your body, facial expressions, gestures express. Why do we send double messages? What is the reason?1. Our parents gave us double messages.2. Our parents did not approve or directly forbade us to talk about our desires, feelings, and needs. And we are accustomed to looking for workarounds to achieve what we want, including through double messages. In this article we will talk about the first of these reasons. Parents could give their child contradictory messages, for example, the following: “A girl should be modest” - “Why are you shy, let’s tell you a poem already” “If you eat a lot, you will gain weight, like Grandma Lyuba” - “So that there is nothing left on the plate, everything must be finished.” “Why are you so stupid: you don’t understand the task?!” - “How many questions can you ask? Do you want to become a know-it-all?” “You’re a girl, you should always look beautiful and neat” - “Well, why are you picking around like a princess. Wear what I said. You’ll still get everything dirty.” Sound familiar? Was there something similar in childhood? Or maybe it’s still going on now? “When will you get married? It’s high time” - “Men are all unreliable, you have to do everything yourself.” Such double messages create an internal impasse when you don’t know what to do. No matter what choice is made, everything will still be wrong. How to get out of the dead end of double messages? First you need to detect them. Take a sheet of paper and divide it into 2 columns. In one column write the first part of the message, and in the other - the second. Moreover, the second part of the message may not always be expressed directly in words. For example, the first part, “Being late is bad.” The second part is that mom and dad were always late, and always tried to make excuses. Of course, not all parents gave double messages, and if they did, not every message was double. Therefore, you may find that opposite some lines you will have nothing to add in the second column. After completing this task, you need to look at all these messages with adult eyes and formulate your new belief, which is as comfortable as possible for you and takes you out of the dead end. For example , with delays. “I like to be on time, and I arrange my life so that I can get where I need to go, without rushing.” If you are stuck in a dead end of double messages, then together we can find a way out. You can sign up for a consultation through any of the messengers :+7-918-678-14-44 (Whatsapp, Telegram, Viber)