We continue to consider two differently directed problems that each child solves. Start in previous articles. Let's try to move forward. The first task is to accept the basic principles of the world from parents. The second task is to feel and develop your own direction, the only one in the world, to identify and begin to solve your own problems. And if both of these tasks are solved in the direction of “greater acceptance of parental messages,” then throughout life we ​​may be haunted by some inconvenience, as if I do everything my own way, but I don’t really like it, I’m not very happy with it. As life progresses, the child slowly learns from his parents and others how the world works and how he himself works. I talked about this in previous articles. Then comes the most interesting part. It seems to me that everyone knows that every new person born is different from all of us, existing and those who came before. From all of us. For the only time in the world, atoms have come together in such a way that someone very special is born. One of a kind. He sees this world in his own way. He thinks and reasons in his own, special way. He feels smells, tastes, bodily sensations in his own way. How do we understand each other if we are so different? Human language, speech, is designed in such a way that we explain the world in a fairly small number of words. A small number of words denoting movements, colors, feelings, smells, objects, people. But. Inside us, each word corresponds only to our knowledge, sensation, idea, meaning about it. Inside us. Deep. Where we rely on words to live in this world, learn to live, act, understand laws, rules, connections. Therefore, if we, growing up, want to understand ourselves, then we can start with words denoting feelings and sensations - then , what is closest to our physicality, reality, authenticity. Noticing this, we can little by little distinguish where what I was taught, and I learned, learned and habitually implement, although I don’t really like it. And where is what I want, where I am drawn, what is pleasant or not pleasant for me. And this is not at all in order to start dramatically changing something, doing differently, becoming a different person. No. No! The task is to “start noticing yourself.” Just get started. Just pay attention to yourself. How can you arrange this for yourself? Give yourself ten minutes in the morning and evening. Eight minutes is enough. And remember what happened in today or yesterday - pleasant for me and unpleasant for me. And don’t rush into action decisions. We do not correct anything, we do not weaken, we do not strengthen. The task is to notice what was pleasant and what was unpleasant. What attracts, what repels. This is how we can begin to “create a good mom and a good dad within ourselves.” If, suddenly, we are not very lucky with attention from them. We can begin to show attention to ourselves and, thereby, get closer to what my real goals, desires, choices are. And how I implement them, after I notice. But the first step will have to be taken slowly, for some time, spending a long time on it. Perhaps as a separate daily practice. If, of course, there is a desire and urge to get closer to myself and notice where I continue to implement parental messages. The reality is that we need to complete quite a lot of parenting tasks ourselves. Because they don’t teach to be parents. It seems to me that the time for such study is already coming. For the need for such education. Everything we learn in schools, institutes, universities - we devote most of our adult time to all this. Except for vacations, weekends, lunch breaks. But our knowledge about ourselves, our desires, and our relationships with others - that which has no breaks, no days off, no holidays. What our parents or those around us fill us with with us in childhood - all this is with us day and night, at work, on a trip, on vacation, at home, everywhere and always.