From the author: Published on the website “Growing up in Russia” When my daughter was born, my son was 1.11. After her birth, I began to hear two types of statements addressed to me: 1) “Oh, what a great fellow! They will grow together, they will have fun!” and2) “How are you coping! It’s so hard!” And this is not surprising. Both are true. It is also true that every phenomenon in our life has its pros and cons, its joys and its difficulties. And when making this or that decision, we take wholesale all its consequences, both pleasant and not so pleasant. The birth of the year can be both a thoughtful decision and an unexpected surprise. In any case, parents need to solve the same problems. In the first year of the youngest child’s life, parents have to demonstrate organization, planning and personal efficiency to the maximum extent. This is real time management, there’s no other way to describe it. It is necessary to take into account the different needs of both children, bring together different modes, give the necessary amount of attention to each and at the same time not forget about yourself, leaving time for your own personal needs and interests. Is it difficult or not? The answer to this question is purely individual. If the mother herself is organized, knows how and loves to manage the processes taking place in the house, can plan and at the same time be flexible in the execution of her plans, then it’s easy. If you have problems with personal organization, you may feel that the flow of events is simply carrying you along with the flow. We draw a conclusion on this point: if the weather has settled in your house, you need to work on self-organization. Now you can find different recommendations on time management and all sorts of systems for mothers (such as flylady) and choose from them the one that seems most convenient. It is important. Because with poor organization of processes, you can waste time ineffectively, which means, as is usual with us women, you won’t have time to spend on yourself! Personally, I tried to create for myself the most convenient conditions for organizing my life. I used both strollers and slings and backpacks, depending on where and with whom I needed to go. I tried to spend less time on kitchen chores, so I breastfed, did not use pacifiers, and used pedagogical complementary feeding. I organized co-sleeping with my baby to get a good night's sleep. While feeding the youngest, I read books to the older one. (Although, of course, it turns out that both were listening.) Now, for example, some practical points. Holidays and gifts. Up to 5 years old it is better to give it to both for all holidays. Children do not understand the price and value of an item, but they get upset when they give it to one and not to the other, even if it’s not his birthday, even if “March 8th is a holiday for girls!” Therefore, if you are going to a child’s birthday in a family where the weather is growing up, grab some small change for another child, and hand it to him with the wording: “This is for you because you have such a wonderful brother.” About pots. There is a period when both use the potty. Let everyone have their own. Yes, it takes up space. But this is personal hygiene! You won't give them one toothbrush for two? Toys. Can be general or personal. General ones are in one basket, and the rule applies there: “Whoever takes it first plays,” and personal ones are in separate boxes or boxes. Let there be not a lot of personal things at first - the amount that the child is able to remember, because personal things are something for which the child is responsible, that is, he himself monitors and puts them in place. And he learns that a brother or sister’s personal belongings can only be taken with permission. Toys such as puzzles, construction sets, as well as albums, paints, and plasticine are given by the mother. About buttons. A period is inevitable when they want to turn off the lights themselves, call the elevator, press the intercom button, or light the garland on the Christmas tree. Both. Simultaneously. There are two ways: the first - the mother can act as an arbitrator in each situation, assigning the order and monitoring it, the second - establish the rules by which this “game” takes place. Let's say whoever gets dressed first calls the elevator./