All problems come from childhood, you’ve probably heard them, and quite a few jokes have already been written on this topic. No matter how banal and hackneyed this phrase may seem, it is difficult to disagree with it. Of course, even knowing what comes from where, this does not solve all the needs of therapy. We take a lot into our lives from the parental system and the foundation of our movement is the place in which we grew up, and the people who surrounded us, raised us, loved us, etc. Of course, for a newborn child, the mother is everything. They are in fusion, the child is completely dependent on the mother. As the child grows up, he begins to gradually separate from her. Growing up, we go out into the world to live our lives. And often deep down we are offended and angry at our parents because they didn’t give us this and didn’t give us that. Of course, we have the right to these feelings and can be angry, especially at our mother, who did not “love enough.” But we are the makers of our destiny, only we decide to go into the world and take what is ours or blame the parents who gave as much as we could. Imagine a mother who gives everything, satisfying all our needs. The question arises, why should we then go out into the world, interact with other people, look for life partners, a couple to build a family, colleagues for business, etc. There is no need when the closest person meets all needs. It’s safe, familiar, he knows us and he’s closest to us. Why am I saying this? An adult knows how to take from the world what he lacks. Take from different sources, places, people. And this is happiness when a mother is simply a good enough mother, and not an ideal one who gives everything. A person has a whole world in front of him that he can go into and take, satisfying his needs. But who is a good enough mother, I think there will be different meanings for everyone. Parents cannot give more than they themselves have. This is why it is important to come to therapy and work on yourself, this is an investment not only in your future, but also in your children. It is not for nothing that in the family system children are carriers of a symptom that most often relates to the relationship of parents. But this is a topic for the next article!