I was prompted to write this article by an Indian proverb I recently read about how important it is not to make a child the meaning of your life: “A child is a guest in your home: feed, educate (teach) and let go.” And this is true, this is a truly good position, reminding us of the role of parents in the lives of children. This proverb advises that you do not need to tie a child to yourself, on the contrary, you need to gradually let him go. A child is a different person, he is not part of mom or dad, he is a separate person. He was not born to be with his parents, to be their companion for the remaining years. After all, all children sooner or later grow up and look for their own path, try to find out their mission, build something new - their own life. Parents who calmly accept the fact that the child will not always be small and cute, that he will grow, mature and pave the way their own path in this world, after his departure from the parental family into adulthood, they do not feel devastation and loss of meaning - they continue to live, supporting the child and not trying to return him to their family again. But this, unfortunately, is rare. Often, parents find it very difficult to even think that their child will grow up and go his own way. They don’t want him to grow up, because then he won’t be around, he will be on his own, and then what should a parent do, for whom caring for the child is the whole meaning of his life? “For whom to live? My daughter went to university, and I don’t know what to do - I’m scared. The meaning of my life is leaving me, how can I live after this? - these words began my conversation with an anonymous client who suddenly called me more than 2 years ago. This was my first time when a mother was terrified and panicked, realizing that she did not know how to live after her daughter entered university and went to live in a dormitory. An ordinary situation, a completely normal desire of a 17-year-old girl to start living her own life, frightened her mother. Mom turned out to be psychologically unprepared for this and wanted to do something so that her daughter would return back to her. After our conversation, during which I recommended starting to take care of herself, remembering what she likes, what she was once passionate about - starting to organize her own life, she admitted that she had forgotten about herself for many years and now she simply doesn’t know , where to start. This situation is quite typical for parents who are almost completely immersed in the child, abandoning their own interests, hobbies, affairs - their own lives. Such parents seem to hide behind worries about the child, so as not to think about themselves. If an adult child tries to start living independently, parents can hinder this process in every possible way, preventing the building of relationships and family. When a beloved child nevertheless leaves or runs away (if he suddenly manages to slip out from under the dome and begin to live), parents (often mothers), left alone with themselves, are lost, accuse the child of ingratitude, making him feel guilty and return. Such a parent manipulates the child’s consciousness, often very successfully, to achieve his goal. And if it doesn’t work out, then the parents can become depressed and become very ill, as long as their beloved child doesn’t leave their side. What, in this case, can a mature child do: a) voluntarily and forcibly return and sacrifice himself and his life as a sacrifice to parental blind egoism; b) tries to distance himself from his parents or even completely break ties with them, but simply runs away from their suffocating love. Fortunately, there are also parents who, after the child leaves the family, gradually begin to rethink their lives and gradually learn to take care of themselves . This is sometimes not easy for them, but the results of these efforts are worth it. Dear parents, when you want your child to always be near you (often this is not realized), you act selfishly, cause harm with your care,.