I'm not a robot

CAPTCHA

Privacy - Terms

reCAPTCHA v4
Link




















I'm not a robot

CAPTCHA

Privacy - Terms

reCAPTCHA v4
Link



















Open text

From the author: This is one of the author’s notes-responses to letters from users of the Detkino.ru website. Perhaps this will be interesting and useful to other users, readers and those who have encountered similar topics in life. How to tell an 8-year-old child that dad has died? (a very close person for a child) (Irina) Hello, Irina! Thank you for the question. Your letter does not ask the question of whether or not it is worth telling, but the question is how to do it... This is a difficult question. I’m afraid I won’t give you a definite answer on how this is done, because in every family this happens differently... I can only say that 8 years is a fairly conscious age. At this age, it is important to speak openly and honestly, everything as it is. Having also said, it is important to ask the boy if he would like to see his dad off, say goodbye, be at the funeral, at least in some part... It is much worse when an 8-year-old person is left alone at a time when everyone is busy preparing for the funeral, vanity, and he was pushed away from the opportunity to be with HIM a little more... From experience: children who could not be involved in the departure of a parent or loved one experienced the loss much more acutely and this incompleteness of the situation (what was not possible to say goodbye on time) often burdened them for many years already as an adult. Irina, I just don’t really understand what your attitude is to the departure of the child’s father.. You wrote that for the child this is a close person, as if for you it was not a close relationship.. Is this true? From the short letter, there is a feeling that only the boy needs support... What about you? What can you do after you broke the news of death? - support with your presence, silence - talk about what kind of person dad was, what kind of dad he was , what kind of son he was, what he liked to eat, what habits he had, how THIS happened (if possible), what were his thoughts, words in the last days... It’s only important to understand that these conversations-memories should not be intrusive, it should be like - it’s natural, mutual for the boy and you. But talking about who left is very important. This is partly the process of saying goodbye, the process of grieving. It seems that only you can help your child begin to grieve and share his experience. Irina, if you feel the need, come for a consultation. I wish you courage and strength.

posts



61141348
108705275
52014784
47758239
38098942