From the author: This article was published here: “The rescue of drowning people is the work of the drowning people themselves.” The topic was inspired by today’s question that came to me in the chat: “How to save?” Questions: "For what?" and “Who needs this?” The situation is as simple as day: “She liked him, but he doesn’t have a very constructive attitude towards life, and she wants to “save” him.” Such situations are all too common. Either the girl “saves” the man, or a man “saves” a girl. But... as I understand it, now is a completely peaceful time, and saving “someone from who knows why” is like “go there, I don’t know where”... But in another way, it’s one’s own initiation. Maybe we are trying to solve our own problems at someone else’s expense and are drowning in them because we do not initially understand our own motivation. It would be ideal if young people, before entering into any relationship, understood: why and why? ?, then: 1. Marriages would be as strong as armor; 2. Divorces would come to naught; 3. Children in such a marriage would be happy and calmly absorb the basics of their parents’ family life and much more... To achieve such a level of attitude and their own awareness, you need to go through a lot of roads, wear out more than one or two pairs of galoshes (like in a fairy tale), find something, I don’t know what, and therefore, the meaning of your own life... For some, my words will seem too abstruse, others will think : “Yes, I’ve already gone through this!”, and someone will take it and use this so unobtrusive text. The meaning of life... How to find it? For some, this is very incomprehensible, while others have not even thought about it. The first question you should ask yourself while walking along your path in life is WHO AM I NOW? (i.e. at the moment, because after some time we may be in a completely different role). Think and answer: Who am I now? (at the moment) when I read these lines?—Mom? Therefore, other roles should fade into the background... And the most important thing at this moment is the child who is waiting for you. - Daughter? Therefore, a conversation with mom is the most important thing at the moment. - A builder who builds houses? Then responsibility for quality is your strong point!—and so on... When a daughter meets a mother, and the daughter meets a teacher on the street, and the mother meets the boss, role confusion can occur—role conflict. The daughter can suddenly become a student at the same time, and the mother can become a subordinate. But this is not a reversal of roles, but a superposition of them on top of each other. It turns out something in between. How to get out of such situations? Own awareness. Understanding WHO I AM NOW? Difficult? But it's possible!!!1. Try to mentally go through some situation that worries you, when roles are mixed. Introduced? How do you feel?2. Now mentally get out of this situation and look at yourself, how do you look in this situation? Introduced? Now what feelings visited your body? 3. Now get out of this (second) situation again and look at yourself, the one who is looking at the situation that was the first? How do you feel now? Play more often, replay. And after some time, you will get such a taste that your roles will manifest themselves in exactly those situations in which they a priori should manifest themselves. The most important thing is to understand that a person has many roles that replace each other, but do not overlap!!! Good luck to you and only her for conquering new heights of yourself! Ekaterina Zavarukhina