"In general, I was in a relationship with the guy for a year, everything was okay, love is all business, happy. I’m 19, he’s 18. There were quarrels, like everyone else. A week passed After a year, we quarreled a little because I didn’t spend the night at home. He said that he would also go home on Friday. As a result, after the weekend, my boyfriend suggested breaking up for a while. He didn’t explain anything. He gives me a hug and doesn’t even talk. While we are living together: until he finds another apartment. I cry from morning to night, I can’t eat or sleep. He sometimes calms me down and maybe hugs me, but he didn’t tell me the reason. What is all this about? What did I do to deserve this attitude?” This question was sent by a subscriber. And many couples have been in this situation. I’ll say more: all couples whose relationships last for several years have gone through a similar turning point (or crisis)! Let's figure out what could have happened here! Cornerstone: the couple was together for a year. The year is a crisis, in other words, a transitional moment in a relationship. A year is the time during which two people have already gotten to know each other quite well. One of the goals has been achieved: getting to know each other. The novelty of the relationship slowly disappears: it is replaced by reliability and stability. And at this moment, everyone in the couple faces the question: Should I continue to stay with this person, or go on my own way? This is where options are possible... It often happens that both people in a couple decide to stay together and maintain the relationship. Then the relationship continues! Well, at least until the next crisis. And it happens that both people decide that it’s time to get out. It would seem that the decision was made mutually. But it causes pain to both: after all, parting is always painful and difficult, under any circumstances. And it also happens that one of the partners decides that enough is enough! For some reason, he does not want to stay further in the relationship, while the second one demands that the banquet be continued. This is where the most problematic problems begin. But more about this in another article... In conclusion, I will write a few more words about how such a choice occurs. Of course, it occurs not only at the conscious level. That is, no one sits by the window and thinks: “To be or not to be...? Exactly a year has passed, I need to make a decision...” The selection process takes place mostly unconsciously. And a person receives signals from this mysterious area. Sometimes he just “suddenly” decides to give up everything and move on with his life. And since the choice took place in the field of the unconscious, a person often cannot explain his decision. Even to myself. Of course, the crisis of the first year is not the only one. Throughout the history of their relationship, the couple goes through many different crises. The positive thing is that after each crisis that passes, people begin to value each other and relationships more deeply, and these same relationships become stronger, they have new resources and potential. Take care of yourself and each other! Subscribe to my profile: I post here analyzes of interesting cases, stories from everyday life and psychological practice! For those who have encountered difficulties in relationships, who want to overcome crises, improve family life, I provide psychological consultations. Write in a personal message: “Consultation”! We'll figure it out as soon as possible!