When planning purchases, Masha makes a list of things that complement each other: boots go with a coat, a bag goes with them, then a woolen dress and a cashmere beret. Gradually buying things from the list, she takes her time, anticipating the fantastic pleasure she will receive when she puts together the whole look as if from gloss and begins to look like from a picture. She is in no hurry to shop, prolonging the pleasure and vaguely realizing that she is not getting closer to her goal - fantastic pleasure. Her anxiety rises. Maxim strives to get to the top of the career ladder. He started as an office manager. Good learning ability, communication skills, resistance to stress, and, of course, high performance help to rise higher. He aims to become president of the company, and has already risen to the rank of deputy director. He hopes that he can calm down and enjoy being at the top, but the steps up do not bring pleasure, but only increase anxiety. Igor is happy with his new car, not bought on credit, an apartment in the center with windows overlooking ..., albeit taken out on a mortgage, his beautiful, affectionate wife and an excellent fifth-grader Valera. He firmly holds in his head a plan according to which he needs to work a little more in order to be able to buy a yacht, a villa and send his son to study in... And then he can relax and calm down. Planning participation in new projects, drawing up a business trip schedule, scheduling an already busy schedule, he cannot get rid of anxiety: everything he has done so far pales against the background of upcoming achievements. “Without a yacht on which I can sail the Mediterranean Sea with my family, a villa where I can send my beloved and my child for the summer, and, of course, a good education for my son, I cannot consider my life successful.” Marina, in general, is happy with her appearance : She even likes to look at herself in the mirror in the morning and pose in her underwear in fitting rooms with that dim light. But her office colleague Anton does not respond to her flirting. Probably, the point is that the faded, ashy, indistinct shade of curls does not suit her. The nose is probably too big? The eyebrows could have been made more defined. It wouldn't hurt to work out at the gym more often. Once a week, arrange a detox, change your wardrobe, sign up for a massage, engage in self-development. Make your nose smaller, change your hairstyle, get hair extensions. And then you can be completely satisfied with yourself. And Anton will like it. With the diligence of a student from the first desk, she begins a program of self-improvement. The plan is being implemented, but self-confidence is not growing. When achievements do not bring joy, but simply encourage you to move on, this is about the inability to accept yourself. This is about the illusion that when all the items on the “should and will” list are achieved, I will live happily and calmly. I will begin to enjoy myself and appreciate myself. It's about avoiding meeting your present self. The way I am now. What am I like now? What will I be like when I achieve what I want? It's about the difficulty of being with yourself now. Just the way I am. Because I am like this, without achievements and improvements, as if naked, as if I was worthless and undeserving of love. Unworthy. Imperfect. I don't like myself. It's about the confidence that achievements will help me love myself, be happy with myself simply for being where I am now. That I could and can do. That I live. That now I won't need improvements anymore. It's about the hope that if something isn't on the inside, I can glue it on the outside. This is about vague guesses that, having achieved, I will change, become different. They will love me, I will be brighter, more successful, richer, and, therefore, happier. Achievements are like a suit that I can put on to become more beautiful, better. Try on the qualities that I lack. Dress in them and try to become one with them. Demonstrate to others in order to outwardly appear to be someone I am not, but really want to be. But inside I remain the same: hungry and thirsty for acceptance. Accepting your true self, without the husks of external regalia.