🚷Guarantees, reliability, predictability, correctness and other nonsense - this is what you should expect from a relationship if you want to be disappointed in them.🆘️ Also a good reason for loneliness.🆗️ Openness and trust, intimacy in relationships are often accompanied by the experience of uncertainty and fear. Excessive anxiety and fear of intimacy in relationships can have various causes, usually rooted in negative childhood experiences. For example, in people with anxious or avoidant attachment or other traumatic experiences. 💝Wanting to build strong long-term relationships, we, without noticing it, miss important details at the moment of forming relationships.❌ We rush events,❌ predict the future and❌ drag the past along with us. Instead, ✅Allow yourself a unique journey into a new world.✅Take your time to evaluate your partner❌, compare him with your fantasies❌ and check him for compliance with the model you came up with❌. (Look for another place for your fantasies♂️♀️)✅Try to take over your “inner truths” and build relationships based on what is happening now. If you go to a cafe, try to just go to a cafe, and not give birth, baptize and marry children together. If you are watching a movie, try to enjoy the movie and not think about how reliable the person who is next to you is. Such reasoning in itself is very useful. The problem arises where, behind our over-concern about the future, we stop seeing the present and ourselves become unavailable🔇. Due to some unconscious patterns and attitudes, a potential partner may end up on the “unsuitable” list.😒📍A similar situation happens during periods family crises. Since the main force that guides us is emotions (hello to the reptilian brain🦧), we are thrown into past experiences (often not ours at all)❌ and into worries about the future❌.🆗️The best thing we can do at this moment is to bring ourselves back to the present. Through questions, through observations, through giving yourself time to make a decision. Engage in real relationships. Including allowing yourself to experience difficult moments, to be weak, misunderstanding, and wrong. When everyone looks only in their own direction, it will not be possible to see a future together. It’s especially a pity when everything beautiful is literally one step away from them. Just like building this world is possible only with mutual efforts (sometimes alternately). By lingering in the moments of the present, we move away from illusions and move closer to each other. #relationships #family crisis #conflicts #relationship psychology