From the author: S-theoryTraining company PartnerBe AutonomousThe formation of this right is clearly manifested at the “anal stage” of the child’s development. The first clash with the norms of neatness and morality begins. The child’s sphere of attention shifts from the mother to himself. At this stage, the child separates himself and his mother for the first time. A new point of attention is the sphincter, bowel movements and bladder. The child suddenly faces the need to somehow regulate and control these processes in his life. Despite the fact that there is no biological need for such control, the only driver in the direction of mastering this skill is the need to preserve the mother’s love. The child's emotional attitude towards his mother is characterized by the simultaneous experience of love and hatred. Not understanding why the mother suddenly stopped satisfying all his needs, and instead begins to demand something from him, the child is looking for a way out of this contradiction. In the process of establishing this right, the child comes to the understanding that compliance with norms limits his freedom, but may lead to increased pleasure. When a baby proudly brings his mother a pot in which he has just put his pile, the child is counting on the parent’s approval and, as a result, receiving pleasure from him. If a child makes this same pile in his pants, he does not receive love, but receives punishment. As a result of this development of events, the child comes to a compromise decision for himself: “I can get pleasure through my compliance with their requirements.” The child learns to make decisions in accordance with the norms of morality and order. Thus, by making the “right decisions” the child acquires independence skills. The separation of oneself from the mother as an independent object leads to autonomy. The opportunity to get some needs met without the participation of the mother, basic skills to manage one’s own emotions lead to the understanding that “I can act separately from my parents, be autonomous».