From the author: For a year now I have been writing notes “Diaries of a Slim Girl”, and now for me this is no longer just an advertisement, but a special space for reflection and experimentation. I would be interested in receiving feedback from those who read my notes. What do you think about the topic under consideration? Quite often, a person who finds himself in a difficult life situation cannot immediately cope with it on his own. As a rule, this is associated with an acute feeling of guilt, often irrational. And unconsciously, trying to alleviate his condition, a person blames someone from his environment, someone close. Thus, by transferring his anger, disappointment, irritation to this object, a person avoids experiencing his own conflict. But such behavior does not resolve a difficult life situation, often turning into even more complex forms. The second person involved in this personality conflict may also react very differently and, accordingly, get different results. If we consider the option when this second person (let’s call him “partner”) views the attacks as a personal difficult life situation and reacts in exactly the same way as the first participant in our story. What kind of situation arises in this case? Both our hero and his partner blame each other, pouring out anger, irritation and reproaches. At the same time, both of them experience something similar to anger, alienation, loneliness, emptiness, powerlessness... Another important detail is that the more significant for a person the difficult life situation with which it all began, the closer the person he will choose as a “partner” for accusations. How often children blame their mothers or fathers for their unsuccessful lives. Have you ever heard something similar to: “If it weren’t for the children, I would have received a better education, I wouldn’t have to work hard at a hateful job...”? People often turn to me for psychological advice blaming their spouse for a large number of imperfections. These are the people who once chose this partner for themselves and even fell in love with him. So why now do they destroy relationships by choosing these closest people as conflict partners? I believe in the rationality and perfection of the world and always look for a reasonable explanation for facts. Here are the facts: a person experiences difficulties that he does not know how to cope with and involves a loved one in this situation. For what? Do you still have doubts? How to help a loved one who is in conflict with you? How can you help yourself? How to maintain close relationships in any situation? First, you should think about who this person is for you now. Do you want to maintain a close relationship with him? Or from the opposite, what you will feel when you lose contact with him. Want to help him (or her)? Then speak sincerely about your feelings and your desires. This will be the beginning of the exit from the conflict, the beginning of the movement towards understanding and intimacy. After all, your loved one is confused, and by pouring out his pain on you, he (she) is subconsciously waiting for your support and help. Sincerely, Elena.e-mail: [email protected]www.nextlevel.su