From the author: published on the website She was 45, the children had already grown up and lived separately, she separated from her husband 15 years ago. She had been alone for so long, but she continued to dream of a strong man, next to whom she could finally feel like a weak woman. She said: “I am strong because HIM is not around. As soon as a strong man appears nearby, I will immediately become weak.” He still didn't show up. For several years now there have been no romantic dates in her life. Women do not feel age, they always want love and romance the same at any age. And suddenly... an unexpected meeting. He made an appointment with her. She liked him at first sight: a sporty, courageous widower. The first date went great, she looked at him with admiring eyes, not understanding how her request could be realized so accurately. Is this really the strong man she has been waiting for for so long? She was inspired and talked so much on the first date. He listened to her and agreed with her. This agreement made her happy. It seemed to her that they understood each other perfectly, because he never objected to her. And she said so much so as not to accidentally destroy this illusion of understanding. Suddenly, if he starts talking, there will be misunderstanding and disappointment, suddenly she will feel that they are different and will lose her possible happiness. She already saw their future together, she wanted to appear everywhere with this man, to go through life next to him. She found herself thinking that she was afraid to ask him the most important questions. They were very important to her. She knew that if he answered them negatively, she would not be able to be happy with him. After all, understanding is so important to her! She unconsciously wanted to prolong her crystal dream, to convince herself that this was exactly the man. She never asked him about the most important thing. He suggested living together. Several months passed like this. One day there was an ordinary domestic quarrel. When they sorted things out, it was the first time he spoke so much, but she could not understand anything. He spoke to her in a language completely incomprehensible to her. This man was completely different from the one she had imagined. He wanted to remake it for himself, he didn’t understand it. But she didn’t try to understand him, fearing possible disappointment. What she feared most has come true. Her illusion was dispelled; he did not want to choose her. What she remembers most is the experience: what she was most afraid of at the beginning of the relationship, and because of which she did not ask her main questions, is what led to the separation - a discrepancy in views and interests. I remembered this story when my husband and I decided to buy a car. We chose a used car and, on the advice of friends, went for diagnostics. A pleasant woman - the owner of the car - sat next to her while the car was inspected, listened to, and measured. I felt her excitement and said: “Like at a doctor’s appointment waiting for a verdict: what if there’s a terrible diagnosis?” The car was given the most favorable diagnosis: it was operational, and this experience gave another valuable insight. It was very difficult to choose a car until we determined the criteria for its selection. This clarity of criteria made it possible to quickly make a choice. During the diagnostics, it was clear that if the results were not the best, we would look for another car. It's good that the car market allows you to do this. We need a car that will serve us in achieving our goals. It was not for nothing that I remembered that story. As always, there was a projection of this situation onto the relationship with the man. She was afraid of the diagnosis. She chose to be deceived by her first impression. She did not ask the main questions, she did not find out the condition of the engine, chassis, fuel and other systems. She got into the car and very soon it broke down. She was fascinated by its external shape, color, size, without even thinking that this was not the main thing. The car of their relationship died after a few months?